The conversation that needs to be had

A woman came into the news recently because she retracted her statement claiming that she had been gang-raped. I'm not 100% sure of the details so I can't comment on her case specifically, but my opinions on the subject still matter.

My opinion may be different given my perspective on this issue, but there are few people in my eyes as scummy and repulsive as people who make fake rape claims. How dare you? How fucking dare you? You are the reason that the world keeps quiet because they're scared of not being believed. You are the reason that rapists walk free. You make up these stories for whatever reason and because of you people will continue to be assaulted and raped. The world will continue to suffer because of people like you.

I had a conversation with someone last night who said that they feel sorry for the woman involved in the situation in question, and I was so angry that I said I wouldn't have the conversation with them, with anyone at all, but that's not true. This is a conversation that needs to be had and I will continue to have it until my perspective is no longer shocking. What are people scared of? I was scared. I put my life on hold to make sure no one was at risk anymore. I changed the world. I kept people safe and you're telling me that you feel bad for someone who is being punished for lying, for retracting their statement? It's not a case of character, of not wanting their lives to be upturned for the sake of making someone pay for their actions. If you care more about yourself more than the lives of others, I don't know what to say to you.

In the latest season of you *spoiler alert* a woman is reluctant to report a paedophile because of what the media will say. Really? You would rather save face than keep people safe? What the fuck is wrong with you? For ages, I said I was glad it was me. I was happy that it was me instead of someone who wouldn't have been strong enough to make sure the man that raped me never hurt anyone again. Bullshit, fucking bullshit. I don't care who you are, you should, as a human being, want to keep people safe.

One of my pet peeves is celebrities that claim they have been raped or assaulted in the past. What, you were worried your career was at risk? You would rather become famous than make sure it didn't happen to anyone else? There is no excuse there. I did it, I kept people safe. You don't get to use a desire to have the career of your dreams as a means of justifying the fact that you didn't want the people in question to pay for what they did.

I did it, everyone else is just as capable as me as reporting people. Not everyone will be brought to justice, but people will know.

No more excuses.

xXx

My top five favourite albums, for absolutely no reason

As a result of the fact that I haven't even remotely been taking care of myself lately, haven't eaten an hot meal since Tuesday and managed to sleep for nearly 36 hours, I need cheering up today, so I'm going to write a post that really doesn't mean anything, but it's fun. I present to you, five of my favourite albums. In no particular order.

The Killers, Sams Town 

You ever remember the first time you heard a song? When, regardless of how long ago or obscure the memory is, the fucker is still there? The day I heard this song it was cunting it down, truly cunting it down. I was walking home from school in the rain and I remember being particularly pissed at my cousin's boyfriend at the time for driving past me without offering to give me a ride.

The perils of the personalised number plate. I knew your car Johnathon.

Anyway, I got home, soaked and sat on my living room floor, wrapped in towels watching TV and then When you were young started to play. I don't remember exactly why I liked it. Maybe it was the video, maybe it was the song itself, who knows, but I loved it and, subsequently, the album.

Maroon 5, Songs about Jane

This one I don't remember the day, but I do remember the song. She Will Be loved, which my angst ridden pre-diagnosis brain, related to as I had already subconsciously decided that all I wanted in the entire world was to feel like I was loved. From that spurned a love of the album, that I'd listen to over and over and over again regardless of the fact that a) I didn't really understand any of the lyrics and b) even if I did I really shouldn't have been singing them. It produced some of the greatest tunes of my youth and for that, I thank it.

Placebo, Meds 

My actual first encounter with Placebo didn't start with this particular album, but with a mix CD I somehow managed to steal off a guy I had a massive crush on in year 7 on a bus ride to a school trip to Pleasure Wood Hills (hi Sean, by the way). It contained the glories of Welcome to My life by Simple Plan and the iconic Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance and I will forever be thankful for the guy that I may or may not take some time to Facebook stalk later on this afternoon.

The first album from them I then came to posses, a birthday present from my mum's boyfriend, was Meds. If I'm honest, the most recently released album of theirs I actually liked and the disk that allowed my to first here a version of Pierrot the Clown with such a spectacular note change that I've replayed on Youtube more times than I can count. It's beautiful, and I would still bone the shit out of Brian Molko.

No Doubt, Rock Steady 

Fun fact, this is the first album I ever bought. I'd been searching for Dirty by Christina Aguilera on single (fuck my life that makes me feel old) but it hadn't been released yet. Instead I went to my second choice and found Hey Baby on the aforementioned album and No Doubt was purchased instead. 

The Velvet Underground, The Velvet Underground 

We return once again to remembering the first moment we ever heard a song, and therefore remembering the first time I heard an album. I was balls deep in the first round of my eating disorder, walking around the outside of a rug that had once lived in my living room and sobbing to myself listening to Candy Says. The opening line, Candy Says, I've come to hate my body was the only way I could think to describe how I felt about, funnily enough, my body. My mum was ill, I was ill, and the desire to lose pound after pound after pound was relentless. I'm not going to go into my eating disorder right now, this is not want this post was about but, that song, I still and will always love.

It's about a woman named Candy Darling btw, just incase you were wondering. 

xXx

Proximity

I want to do my best to post a little more throughout December, a 12 days of blogmas if you will. I can't promise I'll get through a full 12 but, to kick things off, here's a guest post from the author of the crime thriller novel Proximity, Jen Tugwell. 

Proximity: A crime thriller set in a world that suffocates us in safety by Jem Tugwell

When I wrote my debut novel, Proximity, I was worrying about where the current technology advances would take us, and how a government might misuse it to suffocate us in safety.

Sound farfetched? In the last few days, I’ve been warned that my hot drink is hot. Warned to hold onto the handrail on the stairs. Warned at an indoor ski-centre with real snow, that snow is slippery.

These days, technology is at the heart of everything, but rather than focussing solely on the technology, Proximity is a thriller that uses it to add another dimension to the crime story. 

The technology imagined in Proximity provides the convenience of no keys, no identity theft and no passwords to remember. The characters are healthier because their calorie and fat levels are monitored, and their hearts are constantly scanned for issues. Because the government knows where they are all of the time, the police solve nearly every crime very easily. Murders, mugging, stabbings and theft drop to nearly zero when the perpetrator is guaranteed to get caught. 

So far so good.

But, like in real life, political expediency overwhelms the naivety of scientists and technologists. A system designed to enhance people’s lives, becomes a control system.

Fiction mirrors fact as the physical person and their data twin are more and more inseparable. I hope that Proximity challenges the reader to recognise the importance of their data and the potential implications of sharing it.

The main plot of Proximity is a crime thriller. It is designed to be a fast-paced, entertaining read, but during the police investigation into a ‘impossible’ killing, Proximity asks the reader to think about how technology might be used and abused. 

How would you feel if the government collected data of your activity levels, your intake of calories, alcohol, fat, etc.? It would allow health professionals to make you healthier. Insurance companies would reward you with lower premiums. Great, but things can easily turn, so that medical professionals and insurers use our data against us. What if they think you are taking too many risks? Will they claim that your illness is ’self-inflicted’ and use it as a justification for denial of service? Will the reward for healthy behaviour become an obligation? Will it be ‘no insurance unless you conform’? Is a longer, dull life better than a shorter, more exciting one?

Proximity allows an examination of how our lives might look inside a fast-paced crime thriller. The positives and negatives. The moral dilemmas. It is a near-future could be just a few steps away. Almost an alternate now - a world where, 'You can't get away with anything. Least of all murder.' Hopefully, it doesn’t act as a design template for our politicians.