Sunday, 16 September 2018


For someone who hated maths so much in high school, I spend a lot of time counting. I've counted the hours I couldn't sleep, I've counted the calories I've eaten and burned off, I've counted the lbs I've lost, the Ibs I've gained and the Ibs I've yet to banish. I've counted money and debt, days and Instagram followers, minutes and days and blog views.

I came to this realisation on Friday night at a gig. I was at the Islington Memorial Hall listening to The Devil Makes Three and, instead of relaxing, dancing and enjoying myself, all I could think about was money. Even at that moment, I couldn't stop thinking about whether or not I'll have enough money to go to Canada.

Truth is, I don't really believe I deserve money. My parents supported me a lot financially growing up and they still do, but all this does is make me feel ashamed. Ashamed because, despite everything I've achieved, I still struggle with the most basic of tasks. Ashamed because of how much of that money I've spent on drinking, drugs and things that I believe I don't deserve because of how much I enjoy them despite the fact that I'm perfectly within my right to be happy.

Planner supplies, all of the planner supplies.

I'm fully aware that this is something I need to let go of, but it's also something I struggle to shake. Every day I'm blanketed by the belief that I don't deserve something. Don't deserve money, don't deserve happiness, don't deserve love, all because of the things that I"ve done and the person I've been. This all-consuming blame, shame and self-hatred clouds every aspect of my life and I don't know how to let it go. Don't know how to convince myself that deserve all of these things.

And I really don't know how to fix it


Friday, 14 September 2018

Review: Just by Jenny Morton Potts

Just by Jenny Morton Potts

Book tour alert

This week, I was lucky enough to be sent a copy of Just by Jenny Morton Potts. As with Death before Dishonour by Kenny Hyman, it was unlike anything I've ever read before and, whilst a little OTT in some places (a broad statement from me I know) I still really enjoyed it.

It's not exactly the most classic plot line. The protagonist, a dentist named Lucienne, finds out her ex is dead whilst her son is in Libya doing something that vaguely involves clearing dead bodies off of a beach (although I'm sure there's a more pc term for that, that's what I'm sticking with). Whilst there her son falls for another doctor and, via an accidental pregnancy, a faked death and an illegal boat ride, everything vaguely turns out alright at the end.

Return to my part about it being a little over the top. However, the reason I enjoyed it had a lot less to do with the plot line and more to do with the book in itself.

First of all, it's short, and even though my concentration levels seem to be improving and the splitting is easing up a little, things that I can read quickly make me feel a lot better than those that take me a decade and a half to fight through. And, second of all, it's beautifully written.

I mean, stunningly written.

As a writer, I far more enjoy immersing myself in well constructed and description heavy pieces of shorter literature than fighting through something I don't find to be as well written for the sake of a better plot line. And, whilst the plot itself was more than a little bit far fetched and I had more than a couple WTF moments, the writing itself made up for it a million times over.

Overall, it's great if you like short and intense reads and beautiful writing. I just feel that the plotline could have been toned down a little, or that the book needed to be longer to give the reader more of an insight and explanation as to why events unfolded in the way that they did. Overall rating? 3.5 / 5


Just by Jenny Morton Potts can be purchased via and 

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Thursday, 6 September 2018

The Scented Bones by Angelina Kerner

First of all, my blog schedule is pretty shocking atm, but I'm hoping to be able to write something longer than an Instagram post soon. While I've been waiting for my fingers linked up with my brain again, I've been taking part in some more book tours. The most recent being about The Scented Bones by Angelina Kerner. 

The first novel in The Svabodina Case Files series, The Scented Bones focuses on the work of Angel Svabodina, an anthropologist just starting out in her field. Embedding herself in a new case, the unexpected arrival, and subsequent disappearance, of an inhuman skeleton, leads Angel into a world of witches, werewolves and vampires. Trying to intricately assemble the thinly worn veil of secrets that surround her current case, she must place herself in the path of the royalty that controls it. 
A petrifyingly entertaining read, it's a must for fans of Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series,


I turned around in time to see a black-haired young man walk in, pulling off his black and yellow headphones. He stopped in front of me with a goofy grin on his face. His black bangs covered his brown eyes for a second before he pushed them back.
“You know? It’s hard finding this place,” he commented. “One would think there’d be arrows pointing to the Bones lab.”
“We don’t like visitors,” I said crankily.
“My name is Jack,” he introduced himself. “Jack Fadden. I’m here to apply for the job of assistant to the forensic anthropologist.”
A sinking feeling gripped at my heart. Melissa, my boss, had decided two assistants would be better than one, especially since she wanted to take more vacation time. She’d left me a list of candidates to interview, and I’d forgotten, thanks to the skeleton on the table. 
I sighed and found the folder with the list. Jack Fadden was indeed there. 
What type of an imbecile would wear jeans and a worn-out T-shirt for an interview? And why drop in at the end of the day on a Friday afternoon?
“Do you have a resume?” I asked as I tugged my own shoulder-length hair behind my ear.
“I have it here somewhere,” Jack replied and opened his backpack. “What’s your name, boss?” 
“Angel Svobodina,” I replied taking his resume from his hand, which he’d found surprisingly fast. 
“Nice name,” he laughed, “Angel, the forensic anthropologist. I guess you do allow people to get their halos.”
“I’m an angel with horns,” I replied.
“You’ve got a sense of humor!” Jack exclaimed. “Thank goodness. I need to be able to work with someone fun.”
“I’m sorry, but who’s interviewing whom?” I asked. 
It was really hard to keep my face neutral because the guy’s attitude was contagious with his easy-going manner.
Jack held his hands up. “Sorry. Proceed.”
Quickly, I scanned his resume, which didn’t look promising. He hadn’t declared a major, and, worse yet, according to the list of significant classes he’d taken, the only one that qualified was human physiology. Forensic anthropologists tended to deal more with the 206 bones of the human body, rather than the tissues and organs. 
I eyed him from the corner of my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t know how to proceed without hurting his feelings. Jack seemed to be holding his breath as I thought about how to let him down. It was like he knew he wasn’t going to get the job and looked sad. 
“I’m sorry . . .”
Jack’s expression changed. There was something more behind the sadness, but I wasn’t sure what it was, other than something dark.
“It looks like you don’t have enough experience. It’s a highly competitive field with limited open spots, and not for undeclared majors.”
“Harsh,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, “but I don’t really know why you decided to apply for the position. What do you know about forensic anthropology?”
“I know this skeleton is missing some bones,” he replied, grinning.
I rolled my eyes. “Good guess. However, it’s not good enough. Good day, Jack Fadden.”
“Oh, come on,” he complained, “let me help with the body. At least, let me show you I know what I’m doing. I can’t kill the patient since they’re already dead.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Disrespectful much?”
“Please,” he said. Something flashed in his eyes, making me question my decision. “You’ve got nothing to lose.”

The Scented Bones will be released on September 28th and can be pre-ordered on Amazon