I always say that I'm too lazy to hold a grudge but that's not technically true. Instead, what I'm too lazy to do is properly deal with how I'm feeling before moving on and starting over. This leads me to resent the person involved yet continuously assume I'm the one to blame, clinging on to them for dear life when in reality I should just say bye Felicia and move on.
The reason I have trouble moving on is that, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, I find it hard to admit that certain people don't deserve a place in my life. I forgive people too easily for fucking me around, yet stay angry at those close to me for tiny, insignificant things.
That's the thing with BPD, it's the little things that really do matter to me the most.
What I'm trying to do at the moment is work on how I interact with people, and how I decide who does and doesn't deserve forgiveness and a place in my life. It's easy for me to say that I've moved on from something, but that doesn't always mean it's true.
Yet again, it's got a lot to do with my being petrified of being alone.
Abandonment issues? Moi? Never!