Irony 101

Define irony - a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Or, my mental health being shaken by an app designed to aid my mental health issues. 

I'm not doing so well right now. May is hellish for me and I'm making it through on a day by day basis. I can't talk to my friends or family about what I'm feeling because it's either completely over to them or they work on the basis of 'I'm here for you unless what you want to talk about makes me feel uncomfortable when I pretend you haven't said anything'. I'm finding everyday tasks and work really hard, but I'm managing to make it through. 

As I'm still using the Thrive app, I've been looking to it as much as I can, but it really doesn't seem to be helping right now. If anything, it's made me feel worse. 

When I first used it I mentioned that I was stressed about money. I'm a millennial, of course, I'm fucking stressed about money. Since then I've been inundated with messages from them every time I turn the fucking thing on telling me to set budgets or pay back the money I owe people, despite a) having indicated that I've already done so and b) never indicating that I owe anyone any money.

Apart from the student loan people, but they can suck a dick.

I also had more trouble with the 'feeling insecure about my weight' suggestion. I'm on the edge of falling into full-blown eating disorder oblivion atm (note the crying at 7am yesterday morning for feeling too fat) and the last thing I needed was my phone telling me I should feel bad about the way I look.

That's what it felt like anyway.

I've got one more week left to review the Thrive app before I give my final verdict. So far, for brief periods of anxiety and stress its okay, but not anything more serious. I'll keep you posted.

xXx