Tuesday, 8 May 2018

Starting to Thrive


In a bid to shut my brain the fuck up long enough for me to form a coherent sentence or do anything outside the realms of normal functioning, I'm currently using an app called Thrive to try and calm myself down when I start to feel anxious. My BPD is in hyper-sensory overdrive atm and I've started experiencing symptoms of dissociation, so anything that can maybe give me a break is a definite bonus.

The first step you go through when you first sign up/log on is to assess your mood. One of the things I'm liking so far is that you can input good and bad feelings, the app doesn't purely focus on the negative. A lot of apps I've used in the past don't do this, and it can be a bit of a downer.

What I'm not loving are the suggestions about what I could be feeling 'bad' about. Having purple bubbles guessing what I think's wrong with my life at that exact moment in time isn't always helpful. If I'm feeling low about something else, I don't exactly want to be asked if I'm feeling bad about my weight. Far from making me feel better, thanks to it being easy to input how I'm feeling, all it did was make me feel bad about my weight when that wasn't on my mind to begin with.

There are different places on the 'island' that you can visit when using the app. I haven't tried out all of them so far, but I've played around with breathing, deep muscle and meditation features and they've been pretty straightforward and self-explanatory. It's recommended that you practise these regardless of how you're feeling each day, but to be honest I just haven't had the time.

Another interesting part of the app is that it sends you a weekly 'report' summarising how you've been feeling in accordance with the data you've inputted. Given my BPD and the fact that I didn't manage to check in every day, mine was a tad erratic, but it will be interesting to see how the weeks compare as I continue throughout the month.

Back next week with an update!

xXx

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