My future

I've been feeling like crap this morning and I couldn't really work out why. That was until I realised what day it is. The day England leaves the EU.

When I think about my future, there is only one constant, and that's Berlin. The only thing I can see when I think of when I see myself settling down is moving to Berlin, once I decide it's time to find a place to live. I'm not sure when it will be, but I know that it's end game.

As of today, my future isn't quite seeming as easy as I thought it would be. The uncertainty of what is going to happen, regardless of what our government is promising us, is suffocating. The level of confusion that has come from the destruction that the Tory government has caused is intoxicating and I have no idea what to do next.

My future, and that of my brother's generation, my family's children's generation and all of those ahead of them, has completely changed as of today. I don't know if I'll be able to move to Berlin now, don't know if I'll be able to work there and support myself now that we've left. My future has never involved marriage, children or a mortgage, but it has involved travel and being able to sustain myself why I do so.

As well as not wanting to cement myself to the ground with a mortgage or family, I also know that I don't want to return to England. I mean, how could I? How could I willingly return to a country run by a government that thinks the opening of thousands of food banks across the country is a good thing, instead of focusing on helping people break out of life below the poverty line. As I said in wrote in my post Why I'm not moving back to England, it was suggested by the government that pension age should be raised to 75. My grandad died at 74, life expectancy in the North East and West of England is also 74. The government is suggesting that people are expected to work until after their death to receive any type of state pension. Why would I want to live under a government that thinks like that?

Theoretically, I still have a plan. Australia is on my list, as is New Zealand. I want to take advantage of my visa opportunities while I have the chance. While I was happy with the idea of never having a definite future plan, knowing that one day I'd end up living in my beautiful Berlin brought me the comfort I didn't know I needed.

And now I don't really know.

xXx